I Love You, But . . .

Here’s a phrase I abhor.

Love you butWhat in the world would someone be thinking? Can this phrase actually “soften” the blow of what comes next? I don’t think so.

Love has lost its power in today’s culture. Between “loving” certain foods and loving a piece of clothing or loving a movie, the use of the expression of loving a person has become quite lame. The last thing we need is to chip away at the full meaning of love in a relationship. Life together is already difficult.

Love should not have qualifiers. The whole point of love is the way it encompasses non-judgmentalism, acceptance, endurance, forgiveness, and patience.

I actually had someone say, “I love you, but I don’t like that outfit on you.” I would assume the person wouldn’t like my outfit whether they loved me or not.

Oh I suppose the phrase could be used in combination with another feeling. For instance, “I love you, but you make me angry.” Does adding “I love you” make it less searing love

to be angry? Does the person on the receiving end of your anger need to hear the proviso? Besides, the only person who “makes” you angry is you. Anger is a response. Love is an active verb.

Instead, because I love you, I can tell you the truth.


About Irmgarde Brown

Personal mission: inspire meaningful change, build faith in God and connect people with resources that make a difference in their lives.

Posted on August 10, 2018, in Meanderings and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. Of course the most abhorrent use of “love” is that little heart emoji that you can stick on any FB post, so that people can see that you don’t just “like” it. I lived a good chunk of my life believing that there is a difference between agape and eros until one day, quite unexpectedly, love filled my being and I stopped using the word except in situations where the “other” expected it. Incidentally, I “love” your short take on the misuse of the word, “but” I would “love” to see you wrestling with the larger concept.

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